If you could only see
by WynterRavenheart
Summary: "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you." (formatting fixed)


"You got some looks. So did I, though the ones directed at me said, 'How did a Turian like that get a girl like her?' Hell if I know." His mandibles quivered in what she had come to see as a self-depreciating grin, Jane hated seeing him like that, hated seeing that particular smile on his face if only for the fact he was putting himself down.

"I know what you mean," she sighed, holding on to him, standing on her tip toes to leave a noisy kiss on his scarred mandible, "one of the Hierarchy's finest with the Council's crazy Spectre." She laughed without an ounce of humour, settling against his covered shoulder.

"You know that's not what I meant," his voice rumbled, an annoyed undertone in his subvocals as he looked down at her, hand coming to rest on her hip, rubbing gentle circles.

"I know what you meant, Garrus," she said, turning to him and taking hold of his face, framing his mandibles with her palms, "and you know I disagree entirely with it," she reached to him on her tip toes again, stupid taller boyfriends, and kissing the tips of his mandibles, to his amusement if the laughing purr was any indication.

"Jane," he started only to shake his head at her, it wasn't the first time they had had that argument.

"You know, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you," she smiled at him again, an intimate turn of her lips, eyes soft, "not the failed cop, and most definitely not a Vigilante without cause."

"I can't-"

"Commander?" Brooks called from the meeting table, her voice drifting toward them.

"Five minutes," Shepard called back before turning to Garrus again, "I mean it, Garrus. To me you're so much more than what you give yourself credit for."

She dragged him to the upper living room, pushing him to sit on the couch before seating on his lap.

"Jane," he started with a rumbling sigh of exasperation, they didn't have time for-

"They can wait a little longer, criminal's not going anywhere," she rolled her eyes before giving him a pointed look, he yielded without a fight, part of him eager to know what she would say, another part of him knew, and disagreed, on principle.

"We can have this conversation later, you know I'm not going-"

"Garrus-"

"Let me finish," he cut her off with a flick of his mandible and a finger pressed against her lips, "we should have this conversation after the mission is finished, but even then I'm not sure I'll believe you. I trust you with my life, but that's the only part I'm not sure I can believe whole-heartedly."

"I know," she framed his face with her hands, thumbs caressing the thin skin where mandible met cheek - or the Turian equivalent of it. "I'll say it as many times as you need, until you can believe it, and then I'll say many times more because I love you, and then I'll say it again just to be sure it sticks," Shepard smiled again, a small thing, private. "I love how patient you can be, how determined, I love how you fit against me-"

"I do love that part," Garrus interrupted, hands settling on her waist, gripping, caressing, trembling.

"I love your sense of right and wrong, even if you're a hothead sometimes," she continued, ignoring the interruption, "I love how you placed your trust in me, just as I have in you. The weight of it is something I cherish, it's not a burden, you're not a burden," she rose on her knees, pressing herself against him, feeling the slight tremor of his hands, knowing it was for her eyes only. "I love that you can be open with me, I love that vulnerable side of yours and I adore the part of the day when I can leave the Commander face aside and be just Jane, that I can be just yours." He cradled her cheek with a hand, drawing her even nearer as he pressed his forehead to hers in a gentle bump.

"I love you," he whispered in the space between them.

"I love you," Jane smiled, pressing against him, "you're my best friend, Garrus, my partner, when I placed my heart with you it was one of the best decisions of my life. You've come so far, my love, and I'm so fucking proud of you," she closed her eyes, feeling how his hands trembled on her, the sharp talons on his hands. Fear didn't even cross her mind however.

"How can you say that knowing what I've been through? What I did? I've no idea what I did to deserve you." It was a rhetorical question, she had already answered him ten times over in all the ways that mattered.

"You're you and how could I not fall for that? Intelligent, caring, attention to details either on your guns or on me, and sexy to boot."

"Sexy huh?"

"Very, if you didn't favour wearing that heavy armour of yours while on travel, we would've had sex on all available surfaces in the main battery," she sat back with a goofy smile, taking his bigger hands in hers, "you're my best friend, and I'm lucky to have you as my lover."

"What about as your life partner?" He asked, his voice a lower pitch than usual, nerves mostly.

"I'd love to," Jane raised his hands to her lips, giving a gentle kiss on his knuckles, "I'd love to be your bond-mate, Garrus."

"Shepard? Garrus?" Liara's voice drifted to them as they heard the Asari approaching, Jane slid off Garrus' lap with an annoyed grumble, only for Garrus to catch her hand and kiss her palm.

"You're both- oh-" they could feel Liara's embarrassment from the couch as she cleared her throat, looking anywhere but at them, sometimes it was easy to forget Liara was barely an adult by Asari standards and was still easily flustered. "I can- ah-"

"It's okay, Liara, we were just heading down," Garrus smiled and got on his feet, still holding Jane's hand.

"We were?"

"You did say five minutes honey," he grinned at her, eyes soft, still feeling the weight of her words.

"That I did," Shepard agreed, letting him lead the way.

"Every surface huh?" He asked before they got to the stairs, just to see Liara's steps falter in embarrassment. He felt Shepard squeeze his hand in admonishment, more of a teasing squeeze than anything even close to hurting.

"Your armour's tough enough to open with a clear head, double that when you do that thing with your tongue…" she trailed off, thumb running over his knuckles in a caress.

"I think I'll start wearing civvies on the ship from now on," he looked at her with soft eyes, after they dealt with the latest villain maybe they could-

"If you two are quite done, we know where the smuggler is heading to," Liara said with a pointed stare at them before turning away and heading to the makeshift war table.

Right, they had a villain to deal with, but after- maybe-

Shepard squeezed his hand one last time before meeting the rest of the crew, the Commander settling easy on her shoulders and he had never loved her more; he might still have issues with how he didn't deserve her, but those were his problems to deal with, and by all the Spirits of Palaven, he would, she deserved nothing but the whole of him.


End file.
